17 Nov 2003
Lamai Beach, Koh Samui, Thailand

So I'm sitting in this sort of outdoor bar. There were two girls there, and this being the off season, they both cozy up to me when I sit down. The more aggresive one, who seems to have better english skills, sits next to me. She adopts what is apparently the standard position which is to sort of wrap her arms around mine so that I could easily hold her hand if I wanted. But I don't - I just sip my beer and listen to the guy playing what appear to be well-known Thai pop tunes on the stage, which happens to be the only hting that comes close to being lit up. Her name is Nancy.

His guitar is out of tune. This is largely what drew me to the place - the presence of amateurs. "Ama" - loves. "Teur" - person who _ to do a thing. Dig?

Nancy also asked me to play a song. I said I would but I never did.

The other girl had a Thai name, so I don't remember it. She had on a kind of tight, ruffled white tube-top with a plaid mini-skirt. Cute face. After I failed to make any advances, she changed into a t-shirt, which managed to make her even more attractive. And then she made herself some rice & fruit. And then the man who ran the joint had her some over and make out with him for a while. He also ate her snack.

I, of course, did nothing about all this.

I had wandered into the bar after a powerful experience earlier. It had taken place in another bar.

Eric and I were walking around Lamai after the Elvis impersonation show at Siam Bar & Grill. Wonderful place - you don't get solicitaed at all for sex while inside and they have a Fillipino Hard-Rock Girl Band. Baby, the lead singer of this band, unfortunately had a stonach fluand therefore the show did not go on. Rather, it finished up with Elvis. Three women were in the bar when we first came in - and older European woman and 2 Thai girls. One of these girls was the cutest thing for miles in her blu-tint sunglasses and her american-and-British flag tank. At least, if the look she had going was truly on purpose, she was the cutest thing going.

These 3 together were either up to something shady or very interesting. So, when Eric and I encountered the cute girl - let's call her Ann, because that's what she said her name was - I pushed for stopping in that bar for some ool. And this pool table - wow. It was like a quarter acre with the tightest pockets you've ever seen.

And Ann turned out to be a smart, fun girl. Given the language barrier, though, it was impossible to say shether she was really _that_ cute.

But she definately had a sad story to tell:

4 months ago she got into a bad car accident - now she has some light scars on her face and one eye doesn't open all the way. So - she says she is "no longer beautiful." Bummer if tha'ts what you sell and you are apparently stuck in that line of work. Not as bad, of course, as the beggars with no arms that I've ignored in a fairly guilt free manner. But, for some reason, it instilled more of a "desire to help" in me that with one of the cripples.

Eric suggested this was probably because I never had a conversation with on of the cripples. Getting there.

I think it's because I neer let these people now that I cared. When Ann held my hand and asked me if I understood, I said "yes." And I still just walked away.

Pretty harsh.

So, I decided to walk home instead of taking backseat o nthe motorbike with Eric. And I got to see real Thai people.

One of the other guys at the Bar with Nancy was Pai, which means "Bamboo." He also wanted me to sing a song. He is a one-man band. We bonded well over the lyric - "no woman, no cry." He wants to go to LA. And he thinks I can help.

Pai, if you've made it here, hello! Send me an e-mail! Sorry if I got your name wrong!

16 Nov 2003

OK - so it's way too hard for me to even come close to documenting my trip at this point. I'm going to try to keep up on it on my laptop and then get the juiciest bits on-line for now. I'm working on an idea for a big interleaved biography/fiction that I'll maybe never get up and running on the web. But I might.

So, Bangkok. Met some more cool people there. Danced with some wonderful Thai girls and their male friends thought I was probably evil. I was trying not to be, and think I at least partly succeeded. Hung out afterwards and made what I'd say was my first Real Local Connection.

Then, met the editors of Farang Magazine. Interesting sort of British ex-pats cum publishers. They seem to know how to barter their cache for parties, free airline tickets and the like. So, while they're making Thai pay, they manage to do alright. Anyway, they put me to work selling magazines.

Many of you may be familiar with my previous sales experience. I am just not very good at it. I lack some crucial component. I think you could call it a lack of "desire to sell".

So, I sold 3 over the course of about 8 hours maybe - earning a whopping 90 Baht (approx USD 2.25). And a free t-shirt. And, I tried to sell the magazine to a number of lovely people, some of whom ended up becoming friends. For example, Franziska, a new friend from Berlin and a true East German. We immediately hit it off, because I was trying a fast-paced self-depricating sales pitch which she only marginally understood. Then we decided to go dancing later that night at Bangkok's poshest club.

After looking around for about 2 hours and not finding anything but a 7-11 in our immediate vicinity, we stopped at a 7-11 and had a light dinner.

Then on another night I lost 100 Baht to a pool shark in a bar. But I had gotten a free coctail there, so it balanced out.

So now Franziska and I worked our way to Koh Samui, where we met up with Eric from the Netherlands. We are staying directly on the beach in grass-roof bungalows, again for 100 Baht/night. Koh Samui used to be paradise, apparently, but it is now a kind of american beach resort/hell analogue. But at least tonight we party. It is the half-moon party on Chaweng Beach. Every phase of the moon apparently has a party here on the southern islands. The Thai even use a lunar calendar - despite intense pressure from the outside world.

One has to admire that kind of dedication to tradition.